Tweets
@amateuradam There are 400 billion birds in the world, 250,000 planes, and one Superman. So, in answer to your question – probably a bird.
@ArenaFlowers Due to an autocorrect cock-up, my time machine only lets me travel into the furniture.
@ChribHibble The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn’t the hygiene, but that everyone walks around like they’re hatching a dastardly plan.
@hudsondickchest Anything sounds fun when you leave out details: "Free food! Exercise with your pals! Bunk beds!" I've just described prison
@travon So sad America ranks 25th in the world in math. But at least we're still in the top 10.
@bez I could be a stripper if guys wanted to see a girl get stuck trying to take off her turtleneck followed by an one-stage panic attack
@senderblock23 My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't seem to like it when i use other toothpastes
@MarkLegett always carry 100.000 dollars cash on you at all times in case you ever feel like getting a sandwich from an airport
That's all for now sweethearts! ;)
